My World Live Laff Whatever

My World Live Laff Whatever
TRIM Radio
My World Live Laff Whatever

Aug 29 2024 | 00:59:07

/
Episode • August 29, 2024 • 00:59:07

Hosted By

Riscalla Victoria Smith Michael Bahas Stu Shear

Show Notes

Hey there, folks! Welcome to My World Live Laff Whatever, where we dive headfirst into the crazy, chaotic, and sometimes downright hilarious world we live in with your host, Stu Shear, and who is here to make you laugh, think, and maybe even shed a tear or two. Let's get this party started!

View Full Transcript

Episode Transcript

[00:01:09] Speaker A: Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Trim Radio network, better known as trimradio.com. we're worldwide, and we are everywhere. Trust me. You can catch us on. I believe it's YouTube, Instagram, Og and x. They used to call it Twitter. I don't know, maybe they'll change the name again. I don't know. We are. We're also on Facebook, so you want to check us out? But anyhow, welcome to my world, and tonight, we can basically talk about anything. Almost anything. But anyhow, guys, glad to have you here. Do you have your popcorn? Do you have your favorite beverage handy? Did you tell your friends about the show? Because we start at 08:00 every Wednesday night, and we are live. But before we do anything, I always have to do a disclaimer. I mean, I have to. I don't want to, but I have to. So nothing in this show should be considered legal, medical, financial, or investment advice. Take what we say with a big grain of salt, and always do your own research and due diligence. We're not responsible for and expressly disclaim all liability for any damage of any kind arising out of use, reference to, or reliance on any information contained in this broadcast. Any persons or characters mentioned are, well, for the most part, fictional or as close to it as we can get. So you want to sit back, relax, and chill out, and we'll have a little bit of fun tonight. And by the way, tell your friends to join us every Wednesday night at 08:00 p.m. because we are live. Wow. Now that that's out of the way, has your week been a crazy week? You know, somebody said, oh, we've got another coronal mass ejection, or whatever it was. And you say, well, gee whiz, uh, the Internet's not gonna work, or the phones aren't gonna work. Something isn't gonna work. Oh, woe was me. Well, it hasn't happened yet, and hopefully it doesn't happen, especially on this show. I've got some good stuff for everybody tonight. And have you ever listened to Red Skelton? I've got a little biography on Red Skelton. We'll talk a little bit about him and show one or two of his funny times. And I'll tell you a little bit more about red Skelton once we get further into the show. Well, let's see here. We gotta talk about something called Trim radio network, don't we? Well, let's see if we can do that, and I'll see what the heck the screen gods have given me tonight. Oh, guess what? There we are. And if you take a look at it, there are all the symbols up across the top, and those are the different venues that we're on. You can watch us live, or you can watch the reruns, past shows. You can see the live stream, the mobile app. You can get that the past episodes, the program schedule and everything, but it's right here on the Trim radio network, okay? Now, if you want to partner, you can host your own show, and you can also advertise on Trim radio. But here's the kicker. All the money that comes in from advertisements about the show goes to pay the air time for all the shows. We don't get paid anything. We just love having fun. Even though I might be talking about money and change, you know, talking about the world of finance on Sundays at 07:00 p.m. or I might just be having some fun tonight, like we're going to do. Guess what? You can advertise with us, but that money goes into running the airtime for the show. The rest of it, hey, it's just strictly, we're having fun, and that's all we want to do. And I don't care if you're talking to Roscala or Victoria or Michael or myself or others. That's all we want to do is get the word out. We cut the bowl and serve the truth. Except on tonight's show. Maybe I get away with that tonight. Maybe I've gotten away with that for several years on this show on Wednesday nights. But it's kind of interesting. You know, we, we always try to have good programming out there. And, you know, if you want to go ahead and support the show, you can donate or you can buy the merch, as Michael says. Okay? And you get different points for different ones. And if you take a look at that, I want. I want to make sure we're up on the screen. There we go. We are on the screen with that stuff. You can donate or you can buy the merchandise. We've got cups, we've got hoodies, we've got sweatshirts, we've got t shirts. We've got the famous trim radio network, 22 ounce vacuum insulated bottle. Hot things go in and they stay hot. Cold things go in and they stay cold. It's a good, good product, okay? And it's $34.95. But, man, that thing is practically indestructible. Okay? If you want to, you can buy a vip membership, too, if you want. And that's donating. We've got life, walk with Christ, God, color morphing mugs. I don't know what it morphs into. Maybe on my money and change I should have a morphing mug that turns into a $1000 bill with Alfred E. Newman's picture on it. That makes it legal. So we can do that. Cut the bull. Women's ideal racer back tank tops. Oh, all kinds of stuff. Okay? Just check into supporting the show and every bit of money that goes in pays for airtime. Okay? So check it out. Support us. Because I'll tell you what, in order to get some of the shows that we've got a, we have to get some people willing to go ahead and give up a salary and so forth to help get the word out to everybody. You know, we've got different shows and we've got money and change slides. Financially, prep, we've got offsides. College football top 25. Hey, that was on last night with Michael Behoss. Fantastic show. I liked it. It comes on 07:00 p.m. to 730 eastern standard time during football season. We also have the slobbernocker talk, the take point 22 radio show with Michael Bayhas. And we have my world live laugh and whatever every Wednesday at 08:00 p.m. to 09:00 p.m. and we have the red pill reality show. And even more, this is kind of like the older lineup in a way. We'll have to get that updated because we do have other stuff too. Other show. Oh, here they are. We have around the bend. It's a podcast. We have ranch it up with Tigger and Beth. We have life walk with Christ God with Michael Bayhas. Of course we have money and change, take point 22. Oh, by the way, Michael needs a co host on take point 22 radio show. And so if you're interested, contact Michael Bayhas. And over here on the right hand side, as I'm looking at it, you might be seeing it on the left hand side, but it says, hi there, thanks for visiting the trim radio network. How can I help you today? And you click on that and say, hey, I want to do my own show. Or hey, I want to help with the take point 22 show with Michael Behas. Okay. And we'll get you a response back very quickly. And all you have to do is give us your name, a phone number where we can contact you, an email where we can contact you and we're good to go. Okay, just click on that and we'll get back to you on that. We've got Slobbernocker talk off sites. We talked about that. Victoria Smith, hey, natural Marketer podcast. And she is something to listen to. I listen to that show. And she's got so many different ideas on how to market things. She's a wizard. Trust me, she's a wizard. The positude podcast, now that's a new one that we've got, so you have to check that out. And then we have Roscalis red pill reality show. You know, where they say, well, you can either take the red pill or the blue pill. And I keep telling Roscala, I take the green pill. G R E E N. Well, he hasn't produced the green pill yet. I don't. Maybe it's just not for that show. I don't know. Maybe he can do Roscala's green pill show. I'm just putting him out there. Roscala. And we talk a lot on Facebook, and sometimes we have really nice conversations. We have a good time. We're all good buddies. Couple new sweatshirts. We cut the bowl. The trim radio network. And there's the new arrival. And the other one, we just found out about it in a conference call the other night. I'm going to click on it. Let's see what happens. Ah, it says, make the right vote 2024 and heirloom combined ring spun cotton. And it is light fabric. It's a retail fit tear away label. That's good. You know, I always get those labels in the back of shirts and cuts, and they stick in the back of your neck. Sometimes you see tags on things that say, do not remove under the penalty of law. Gee, are the cops going to come in and say, did you remove that label? Or are they going to come up to you and grab you by the neck in the back, in the nape of the neck, and they look while you tore off your label. You get to go see the judge. Here come the judge. Well, anyhow, make the right vote 2024. And they have the different sizes there and they've got, of course, different colors. You know, you can add it to your carta. It helps support things. And I'll tell you what, Victoria came up with that design, and I'll tell you what, I like it. I really do. Well, what else is going on? Well, let's see what else is going on. You know, we're also on Facebook, and if you take a look at Facebook, if I can hit the right button. Oh, no. Where's the but the button. The button. Show me the button. There we are, live laughing. Whatever. And guess what? We're there. It's free to join the group. All you have to do is request to join and you can join us. It's, it's a fun group. You get a lot of different things. I mean, I'm looking at pictures of people, and you can probably see the pointer going back and forth, but you can join. And it says it's a private group, but just request to join and behave yourself while you're in there. No cussing, fighting, all that kind of stuff. You got to behave yourself. But I've got all kinds of stuff I can say hi to my good buddy Ron, and of course, Michael Bayhas is there. And I've got all kinds of friends. Believe it or not, I do. And I've got, oh, there's Kelly and there's Dora. Dora's down at broadcasting school. Does her own video show down there. Excellent person. I mean, fun to talk to, very laid back. It's something else. But you can check us out on Facebook. It's the trim radio network, my world life. Laugh and whatever. Okay. And if you notice, we had morph and he's saying, I'm the sunshine of your life. Remember that show, why find these gifs g I f. And I like to put them up because sometimes you get some really humorous ones. Okay. So anyhow, you can check us out on Facebook with different things going on. Well, what else is going on in the world here? Hmm. A lot. I was going to talk about a bunch of things, but I got to do shoutouts. I mean, if I, if I forget to do shout outs, I'm in trouble. I'm not going to get mugged or anything like that. But, you know, hey, big shout out to the trim radio network for carrying the show. A big shout out to the University of Finley. They're finally going to class, and it's www.findlay.edu. they're merging with the University of Bluffton. Actually, the University of Bluffton's merging with the University of Findlay. It's a novel idea. Bluffton is an NCAA division three school, and Findlay is an NCAA Division two school in sports, and students can go from either campus to take classes. Know, if you want to go to the University of Bluffton because they have a class on marketing that the University of Finley doesn't have, you can do that. Just fill out the paperwork and make sure that you drive the 20 miles and attend class regularly. I I think it's a neat deal. Both campuses are nice. They really are. And Bluffton is a really nice town. And so is Finley. Finley is a all american city. It really is a lot of things going on there. I believe it's around 40,000 people. And the University of Finley has three campuses, the hazardous materials campus, and then they also have the main campus where you get your bachelor, masters and doctoral degrees. And a lot of the main classroom facilities are there. Then they also have the equestrian campus, and that's all pre veterinary and equestrian studies. And actually, several years ago, the University of Finley beat out Ohio State University for a national title in equestrian. I guess they were just horsing around. But anyhow, hey, it's there. Doctor Kathy fell happens to be the president of the University of Finley. Great faculty, great facilities, and really great students. And you get to meet students from all over the world there. And it's very interesting. I mean, even when I went there years ago, and I do mean years ago, I had friends from Kenya. Matter of fact, one of my friends, Kipling, we always called him Sam because it shortened everything down. And Sam was a good buddy. And he graduated from the University of Finley, went to get his master's degree, I believe, at the University of Nairobi in Kenya. And he ended up the undersecretary. Well, anyhow, high up in the government, I'll put it that way. And we had people from Mexico and South America, different places. It's a good campus. It really is. And the professors are fantastic. Okay, so check them out. The University of Findlay, a big shout out to rusty Duck's custom pens and blanks. And Phil does excellent work making pens. And both Michael Bhas and I have those. And I will have to get more pictures of his pension and put them up here so you can actually see the pens because he does excellent work. Also, he makes the center section, which happens to be the blanks, and he does the design work to your specifications. So if you have, you know, a sorority, a fraternity, a business, even a grade school, high school, college, or university, whatever, he'll make the pens. And he does an excellent job. He really does. And that's Phil over at Rusty Duck's custom pens and blanks. Also, check out money and change. Sunday at 07:00 p.m. and of course, my world, which is Wednesday at 08:00 p.m. i've got friends on YouTube, and I'm briefly going to go over them. And I've gone over them Sunday. I'll continue to bring them up Patara over at Appalachia's homestead. You want to check her out? Great person. Somewhere around the Knoxville area. And then Aaron, or he pronounces it Aaron Feenstra, who has one called countryside acres, and he's over in Russia. He actually left Canada and he moved to Russia, which is, you know, kind of strange. But he's telling about all of his adventures and building a house in Russia and how he's doing it. And he's doing it a little bit differently than what the Russians would do it. And they're learning from him. And he bought a farm there, and he wants to farm it. It's interesting. It really is. Great family. And they're all helping and working to build this house. I mean, even in his, what was it? 14 year old is doing carpentry work. He's doing electrical setup. I mean, the kids really learning a trade, and we need to do that, more of it around here. You get me around electricity? Uh uh. No. I got lit up by 221 time, and I don't touch electricity. I stay away from that. But anyhow, great family. I follow them practically every day to see what's going on. And the people over there are pretty friendly. They really are. They want to help in any way, even though there's a language barrier. But google translate really helps a lot. Also, we've got Brad and Krista at the big family homestead. We've got the deep south homestead with Danny, Wanda king, and porch time was on, and Danny was talking about a lot of things. Uh, they're down around Wiggins, Mississippi. Great people. Lds prepper David Gilmore. You know that David has had over 600 videos on YouTube, talks about different topics. And he got me hooked on GMRS radios. $35. Get you a license for the entire family for ten years. And don't get your radios out of Wally World, if you know what I mean. You can get them from other places. And the one that I have now is an ocean 935 g. And I have a Nagoya seven one antenna, 771 g, I have to say g antenna. I can talk 35 miles with this thing. And I talked to a lot of different people, and I hit a repeater in Dayton, Ohio. And I can talk probably out to about 90, 95 miles and talk to different people. And it's kind of fun. You get to meet all kinds of people and talking about all kinds of things. And you don't have to be a ham radio operator. So anybody in my family can use that radio as long as they behave. If they don't behave, ooh, I could get in trouble. I don't want that. Well, anyhow, lds prepper with David Gilmore prepper Nurse Ed's building this compound down in West Virginia. We've got patriot nurse Rachel and smart lady. She knows a lot about medicine, herbal medicine and everything else. So you want to check her out. Amber stork at Prepper princess. Now I'll tell you what, she's a self made millionaire. She lives frugally. I swear that lady can pinch ten pennies out of every nickel. I mean, seriously, she doesn't live lavishly. She knows how to invest her money, and she's done very well. So check her out. Amber Stork. And then we also have southern prepper one with Dave Kober, my buddy, known him for 1516 years. Great guy. Lives down in South Carolina, almost in North Carolina. I think he can spin over the hill and hit North Carolina. Also the max. And you'll see the max posted in different places, and they talk about a lot of different things. And he's also a farmer from, I believe it's eastern Mississippi. Southern accent but he's a really good guy. Really good topics on all kinds of stuff on the economy and life in general. So you got to check those guys out. Okay. Wow. Well, what do we do this week? Oh, man, a lot of different stuff is going on. You know, I had a doctor's appointment. I hadn't been feeling well and I couldn't figure out why, so I had an appointment. They were going to take blood samples. You know how they stick in, they draw all the blood. You know, vampire comes out of the closet, I want to drink your blood. And next thing you know, you get stuck a couple of times. They take the blood and then they send it to this device in the back room, and it comes back and he says, you're two quarts low. Yeah, because you took two quarts. Well, anyhow, as I was going back, the gal called me back. She says, well, come on back, I'll go ahead and get your blood. And being the comic that I am sometimes, there was a lady and her daughter out in the lobby there, and I said, do I get to say, mommy, daddy, mommy, daddy? Ouch, ouch, ouch, it hurts now or wait till we get in the room. And she just started shaking her head and laughing and the kid was just going nuts. So anyhow, I had that happen and something to do with thyroid, and they took my blood and they said, your thyroid's low. Oh, I didn't know that. I had nine faults from that. And, gee, didn't the doctor put me on thyroid medication before to keep it low? It was never high. So now I have to get this stuff washed out of my system, you know? And sometimes my humor really gets wild when I'm in the doctor's office. I have to. I can't be serious in a doctor's office that much. It drives me nuts. So. And that's the way it is. Anyhow. I had that going on, and, oh, that reminds me of a time I had. I was in graduate school at Indiana or at Xavier University, and a friend of mine was playing basketball with an ex Cincinnati Royals professional basketball star who lived on that campus, and he got a cut above his eye, and he had advantaged. He said, do you think I ought to get stitches? I said, well, it's up to you. He said, well, let's go have dinner first, and then we'll go to Cincinnati General Hospital, which is a huge hospital in Cincinnati. It was only about 4 miles away. So we drove over there, and we went in, and it was a four hour wait, 4 hours. And they said, really? If you want faster service, go across the hall or across the street to jewish hospital, because there was another big hospital over there. And so I said, okay, we'll just go there. So we drove across the street, found a place to park, went in, and he was filling out the paperwork, and across from us was this couple, and all she did was complain. And she's like, her husband's next to her, and he's putting up with all this, and it's somewhat of a crowded room, and nurses going around talking to people, and she's gone. Harvey. Harvey. My neck hurts. My neck. My back hurts. My neck hurts. Oi. Oi. It hurts. It hurts. I need an anesthetic. I need a noise. I need a noise. He says, okay, I'll go get a noise. So he gets up and goes over, finds a nurse, brings her over. She says, calm down, and we'll get you in as soon as we can. Well, then she's complaining again. Harvey. Harvey. My neck hurts. My back hurts. Oh, man, the pain, the pain. Do something. I need an anesthetic. He says, what do you want me to do? I need a martini. Javi, I need a martini. Go get me a martini. So he leaves. Now, this is before security was ever invented, and he goes out down the street. He comes back in, walks in with a six pack of little king's Alejandhe and gives it to her. And she says, harvey, I. Harvey, I wanted the martini. I wanted the martini. He looks at her. He goes, they didn't have any to go. Opens a bottle and gives it to her. Honestly. God, that happened. I was laughing. People down the way were laughing. The nurse came up, she said, you can't do that. Here she goes, I need medication. I need to see the doctor now. Oh, the stuff you run into. Well, there's other stuff that we run into. And I'll tell you what. There's one that I wanted to bring up, and I have to present this. And if I hit the buttons right, maybe I can do it, you know? Boston neighbors raised $20,000 after officials shut down a guy's ice cream. Yeah. Bored and looking for something to do this summer, Danny hatched a plan to raise money for his brother's hockey team by selling homemade ice cream. But a few days after setting up a stand and serving up vanilla, shaved chocolate and fluffernutter. I don't know what that is to about 20 people. Denny's family received a letter from the Norwood Board of Health ordering it to shut down. Town officials had received a complaint and said that the twelve year old's scheme violated the Massachusetts food Code of state regulations. So they were going to shut it down. Well, it would violate Ohio state health codes, too. Sorry. Sorry, Danny. You tried. You're a great entrepreneur. Lemonade would have been a better choice. Wow. And you run into all kinds of stuff, people. Little girls selling lemonade, iced tea, even ice cold water around here. You know, when the cops are out driving around, the kid has a lemonade stand. They'll pull over and buy a Lemonade, and that's good Publicity. I don't know what the lemonade tastes like. I mean, it tastes like shoe polish. I don't know. But they do. And they support the Local Kids. And now the kids are going back to School, and I think the Parents are still selling something out in their front yard. I passed somebody today that was doing stuff like that. Oh, well, hey, uh, a big one about McDonald's. You know mickey D'S? Yeah. Mickey D's had something today. I can hit the right buttons. It's always hit the button. Hit the button. Okay, I hit the button. Mickey D'S. Okay. Finally reveals the launch of the Big Arch. According to thedailymail.com, this is over in Great Britain, but they said McDonald's. Finally reveals launch of the BiG Arch, its biggest Burger Ever. McDonald's to update a dollar five MeAl deal after it fails to boost customers. The only problem I see with McDonald's is service and sometimes cleanliness. And I don't know. I don't know what it's like over in Europe, I have no idea. But they said, after months of anticipation, McDonald's is finally introducing the big arch, its biggest burger to date. Well, okay. It's now available in select countries, including Canada and Portugal. Okay, what's in the burger? What's in the meat? What was it Clara Peller once said? Where's the beef? In a wendy's commercial? I mean, it looks decent. I mean, you could see that on the screen. It looks like a really decent burger. But the problem of it is they like to doctor those pictures up, and they have professional people that will come in and stack the meat, the cheese, the bacon, whatever it takes. And they do it just so they can take fancy pictures of it. And did you know that if they made something that looks like ice cream, it's not ice cream, it turns out to be lard? Well, I'd see the surprise on somebody's face if they were doing that. I was in the restaurant industry, so I know some of the tricks. And you can spend an hour folding roast beef to make it look like a thick sandwich, when in reality, by the time you get it and they open it up, it's not that thicken. So you run into that. Well, so much for all of that stuff. A lot of stuff going on. Back when I was in college, we had a comedian, and I was at the radio station at the University of Findlay, and we used to get this free stuff all the time. And we had these records with Tom Lehrer, and we would play those things either at the afternoon show at 05:00 or maybe 08:00 or 09:00. And he was a comedian, but also, I guess he was a physicist. Yeah, a real smart guy. And he did this stuff on the side, and some of it was pretty funny, and some of it was just crazy. I mean, there's some stuff. No swearing. I could play it on the air, but I don't really want to do that. So, you know, let's see if I can pull that one up, because Tom Lear was funny. And this is back when he would write these musical lyrics and then put the song to it, to music and play the piano. And he was just kidding when he was doing it. Well, I found it, and I'm going to play it for you. So here's Tom Lehrer. [00:35:47] Speaker B: Spring is here, suffering is here. Life is skittles, and life is beer. I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring. I do. Don't you? Of course you do. But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me and makes every Sunday a treat for me. The world seems in tune on a spring afternoon when we're poisoning pigeons in the park every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me as we poison the pigeons in the park when they see us coming, the birdies all try and hide but they still go for peanuts when coated with a scion hideous. The sun's shining bright, everything seems all right when we're poisoning pigeons in the park. We've gained notoriety and caused much anxiety in the Audubon society with our games. They call it impiety and lack of propriety and quite a variety of unpleasant names. But it's not against any religion to want to dispose of a pigeon. So Sunday you're free. Why don't you come with me and we'll poison the pigeons in the park? And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two while we're poisoning pigeons in the park we'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment except for the few we take home to experiment my pulse will be quickening with each drop of strychnine we feed to a pigeon it just takes a smidgen to poison a pigeon in the park. [00:37:52] Speaker A: Yeah, that's Tom Blair, and he's got a whole bunch of those tunes, okay. I mean, he is. He's something else. I mean, the guy is very intelligent, from what I heard. And to be able to put the words and the lyrics, you know, put things together and add the music to it. I mean, he was a pretty good pianist, okay? He was a lot better than I ever was. I mean, even took a class, a music class on class piano. I'm good enough to practice with two fingers anyhow. No, he did an excellent job. And as a physicist, I'll tell you what, he was something else. There's another one that he did. Let's see if I can pull that one up. He did poisoning pigeons in the park. And there was another one. Oh, new math. Yeah, he was a math wizard, too. Let's see what he said on new math. [00:38:53] Speaker C: If you're not sure whether or not the ATF has a digital gun registry, I'm here to tell you that they do. And don't just take my word for. But here. [00:39:03] Speaker A: We go. [00:39:08] Speaker B: Perhaps been put in the embarrassing position of being unable to do your child's arithmetic homework because of the current revolution in mathematics teaching known as the new mathematic. So, as a public service here tonight, I thought I would offer a brief lesson in the new math. Tonight, we're going to cover subtraction. This is the first room I've worked for a while. It didn't have a blackboard, so we will have to make do with more primitive visual aids, as they say in the add biz. Consider the following subtraction problem, which I will put up here. 342. -173 now, remember how we used to do that? Three from two is nine, carry the one. And if you're under 35 or went to a private school, you say seven from three is six. But if you're over 35 and went to a public school, you say eight from four is six and carry the one. So we have 169. But in the new approach, as you know, the important thing is to understand what you're doing rather than to get the right answer. Here's how they do it. Now, you can't take three from two. Two is less than three. So you look at the four in the tens place. Now that's really four tens. So you make it three tens regroup, and you change the tens of ten ones. And you add them to the two and get twelve. And you take away three. That's nine. Is that clear? Now, instead of four in the tens place, you've got three, because you added one. That is to say ten to the two. But you can't take seven from three, so you look in the hundreds place from the three. You then use one to make ten ones. And you know why four plus minus one plus ten is 14 minus one? Because addition is commutative. Right? And so you got 1310s and you take away seven. And that leaves five. Well, six, actually. But the idea is, the important thing now, go back to the hundreds place. You're left with two and you take away one from two. And that leaves everybody get one. Not bad for the first day. Hooray for new math. New math. It won't do you a bit of good to read new math. It's so simple, so very simple, that only a child can do it. Now, that actually is not the answer that I had in mind, because the book that I got this problem out of wants you to do it in base eight. But don't panic, base eight is just like base ten, really, if you're missing two fingers. Shall we have a go at it? Hang on. You can't take three from two. Two is less than three. So you look at the four in the eights place. Now that's really four eight. So you make a three eight, regroup and you change an eight to eight ones. And you add to the two and you get one two base eight, which is ten. Base ten. Then you take away three. That's seven. Okay? Now, instead of four in the eights place, you've got three because you added one. That is to say eight to the two. But you can't take seven from three. So you look at the. How did 64 get into it? I hear you cry. Well, 64 is eight squared. Don't you see? When you ask a silly question, you get a silly answer from the three. You then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three and you get one. Three base eight. Or in other words, in base ten, you have eleven and you take away seven. And seven from eleven is four. Now go back to the 64s. You're left with two and you take away one from two. And that leaves. Now, let's not always see the same hands. One. That's right. Whoever got one can stay after the show and clean the erasers. Hooray for new math. New math. It won't do you a bit of good to read new math. It's so simple, so very simple, that only a child can do it. Come back tomorrow night. We're gonna do fractions. [00:43:20] Speaker A: Yeah, that was Tom Lair. The good crazy days of radio. Way back when I was in college and we had some fun. Hey, um. You know we've always talked about Roy Mercer and. Roy Mercer, he had something about a dead goat joke. And you know, he's always pulling pranks on people. So let's listen to Roy Mercer and the dead goat prank. Here we go. [00:44:08] Speaker D: This is Terry. [00:44:09] Speaker E: Terry, listen, my name is Roy Mercer. I understand you're a photographer here in Durant. [00:44:14] Speaker D: Yes, sir. [00:44:15] Speaker E: Listen, I got a kind of situation I was wondering if you could help me out with. I got a. My boy Raymond is in the FFA and he had a goat. Did he raise. We called it General Custer. Because, you know, he had that little goatee there, Custer. And he won a pretty pet contest. But I need to get that gold picture took. We need a picture before we can win the contest outright. And. But the bad part about it is, Terry, that. That General Custer passed away last night. [00:44:49] Speaker D: Okay. [00:44:50] Speaker E: Yeah, I think you take a picture. [00:44:52] Speaker D: Of your goat dead. [00:44:53] Speaker E: Well. Well, I don't want him to look dead, is the thing. But it ain't funny. Is a. Is a family pet, kind of. And my board, you know, he's all tore up about it because we got about $500 1st prize and some kitchen appliances coming to. You know, one. This thing I was wondering. He's starting to stiffen up a little bit. We throwed him and it ain't funny. We throwed him over the clothesline pole last night. So his legs are hanging straight down. So when it's stiffed up, then he'd just be standing. Would that be all right? [00:45:29] Speaker D: Um. I don't think I could make him look living. That's. That's the problem. [00:45:33] Speaker E: Well, what would it. Because I've been brushing his fur out a little bit and tried to floof it up a little bit. Could you maybe do something with his eyes? Because they kind of glazed over and maybe brighten them up a little bit? Could you enhance it? I don't know. Do your. Do you touch him up there in the studio? I don't know how. Something like that. [00:45:53] Speaker D: I don't think I could do that. [00:45:55] Speaker E: You couldn't do that? Well, my God, it just. I just need a picture took of it. [00:46:02] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:46:03] Speaker E: And it really needs to be professionally done. I don't. I'm afraid I might not make it. I got a camera around here, and I'm afraid I might not make him look alive. And he. He needs to kind of, you know, have that. That live, you know, that glow in his eye. [00:46:15] Speaker D: Well, I think what. [00:46:16] Speaker E: It helped. [00:46:17] Speaker D: When can you bring that goat down? [00:46:19] Speaker E: Well, you're gonna be there all day. [00:46:22] Speaker D: Uh, let's see. Let me get back over. [00:46:27] Speaker E: He might. You might want me to bring him in hour after hours. Cause he's beginning to smell a mic. It ain't funny. It really ain't funny. [00:46:37] Speaker D: I don't have any time, so time's running out. [00:46:40] Speaker E: And if I don't win that prize, it might just boil down to somebody getting a dadgum ass. Whoops. It's funny. How big a boy are you? [00:46:49] Speaker D: Okay, now who is this? [00:46:50] Speaker E: Roy Mercer? [00:46:51] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:46:52] Speaker E: You use both eyes or look through that lens. Or just one. Cause that's all you're gonna have left after I come down there. It ain't funny. I want it. I want an eight by. How much would it cost, man? I get eight by ten. Maybe I should bend one of the goats legs up where it looks like he's kind of running. [00:47:08] Speaker D: There you go. [00:47:09] Speaker E: Maybe jumping over a log or something like that. [00:47:11] Speaker D: Jumping over a fence. [00:47:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:13] Speaker E: You ready for an ass whooping? Cause I need that dollar 500 in a blender and a toaster oven. I think one of them cuisinarts. [00:47:21] Speaker D: You're not helping the situation, but telling. [00:47:23] Speaker E: Me you ain't helping me. Cause you tell me you ain't gonna take a picture of my damn goat. [00:47:28] Speaker D: Well, you. [00:47:30] Speaker E: Your business is that good. You can just afford to just throw it off. [00:47:34] Speaker D: Well, I don't have to listen to people tell me they're gonna whoop my ass. [00:47:37] Speaker E: Well, then, if you just be reasonable about it, I come down there and bring a goat in, and it wouldn't take you five minutes. [00:47:43] Speaker D: Well, I think I'm gonna have to pass on the job, sir. [00:47:46] Speaker E: Well, I guarantee if you do that, then what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna come down there and whoop your ass. And then I'm gonna take that dad gum dead goat up to Tulsi. And I wanna. I heard there's a photographer up there, Kathy sue and Randy, that would, by God, take a picture of any dead animal I had. Maybe. Maybe even you. [00:48:05] Speaker D: Now, you better watch it because Kathy sue would whoop your ass. [00:48:10] Speaker E: Tara, you were beginning to get a little pissed off. [00:48:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. And he knows how to do that. Well, anyhow, guys, I wanted to talk a little bit about Red Skelton. And Red Skelton was a comedian, and he was on Johnny Carson a lot of different places. And he was. He did pantomime and all kinds of stuff. I'll tell you something. Red Skelton was a class act. He never swore in any one of his shows. Never. He was great at pantomime. He portrayed a clown, a crazy person, Clem cadiddlehopper, and all kinds of different characters. And I'll tell you what. I didn't know it, but I was down in Florida. I was down at Treasure island, and I was walking around the shops. And he also was a painter. He did portraits of clowns and everything else. And they were beautiful. They were expensive, but that was a side of them I never knew. I always watched them on tv. And it was red skeleton hour and all kinds of stuff going on. Now, the bio that. That I found on Red Skelton, oh, gee whiz, it goes way back. And of course, Red is no longer around. But he was a. He was quite a character. And like I said, he never swore. Everything was basically clean. Okay? And that's just the way red, Washington. And he was born in Vincennes, Indiana, and lived there for quite a while. And he ended up being on movies, being on tv, especially early tv. And when you make it to Johnny Carson, he had a blast. Now, he was born in Vincennes, Indiana, and then he passed away in 1997 at Rancho Mirage, California. And he was one heck of a comedian. And he used to do all kinds of stuff, and he. And, oh, gee, burl Milton Berle was another one. We'll get into Milton Burrow letter later. He was. He was really a funny person. But these early comedians, they really never swore. They. They had clean shows. They were funny. And it was so funny. Sometimes, you know, I look for different things to present, you know, every Wednesday night. And I'll tell you what, here's something from Red Skelton. Your kids used to say, oh, that's red skeleton. No, it's not Skelton. Sk e l t o n. Not skeleton. Skeletons might occur at Halloween, but not. Not. No, no, not on a comedian show. Well, let's see what I've got for Red Skelton, because I'll tell you what, he's got some good stuff. So let's see what I've got here with him. Here we go. [00:52:01] Speaker C: I like to do for you now, as you get older in life, you sort of look back at things. I remember a lot of things. Like, I remember when I was a little boy, you'd stand on the roadside and something would whiz by you. It'd be some horse feeling. He's oats, you know? Now, you stand on the freeway and something whizzes by you. Hit some jackass with too much grass. I heard two Texans talking over in the hotel, and one of them said. The other says, I like the way they stand, see, you never know if their thumbs are cold or if they've got gas. He says, now that we're getting friendly with China, tell me, do you believe in Buddha? He said, I believe in what? Do you believe in Buddha? I don't know Buddha. Well, Buddha's been around a long time. I don't know if I believe in Buddha or not, but Buddha's all right. Yeah, I like Buddha. I like Buddha for what the hell, I like margarine as well. I play a lot of the colleges. And while I was at ammuncy, Indiana, at Ball State University, the students got together and they made Clem Cadittlehopper a doctor of foolology. So at this time, we would like to introduce you now to our friend Klim Kadiddlehopper. Well, sir, it's nice to see you folks again. It's been a long time since I saw you last. I got married. I got married. I had a military wedding. Well, there were guns there, let's put it that way. My wife is a lovely lady. She's. She says she's only. She's only 21. Of course, that's 150 for you and me. She's very superstitious. For instance, now she won't do housework any week. That has Friday in it. Yes. Since I saw you last, I haven't been doing much of anything. I never did do much of anything. I've been helping the Boy scouts. I show them how to make them boy scout knots. Boy, I'm a wiz with that. Everything I see, boy, I tie a knot in it. They made me stop milking. You know, I raise rabbits now. I raise rabbits. These are not ordinary rabbits. These are some of these rabbits. They've never been outdoors. These are ingrown hairs. You better start the car, boy, the way you reacted to that, I'm glad I didn't tell you the one I was gonna tell you. [00:55:11] Speaker A: What? [00:55:11] Speaker C: The little rabbit was gonna have an operation, but he wouldn't take any anesthetic because he was an Easter bunny. But you know, my rabbits are smart. My rabbits are smart. I make a mine, I take a stick at them. I say, you mind me, and I take this stick at them. You know, the other day I had a couple wouldn't mind me at all. So I locked them up in a barn for a few days. He'll never do that again either. I opened that door, I had more rabbits I could shake a stick at. You can shut the motor off. You know, the other day there's a couple of coyotes chased a couple of my rabbits into a haystack. And one rabbit turns the other and he says, we're going to make a run for it or stay here and outnumber them. Tonight I would like to recite to you for you rather, some poetry that I have rotten. And this poetry here is the, um. Poetry is set to the same cadence as Roger Kipling's poem boots. You've all heard boots? You never heard boots? [00:56:58] Speaker A: No. And I haven't heard booths. And I'll tell you what, I'm gonna have to cut you short, dude, because I know it's a long poem, so much stuff going on. But you understand that he likes to play words and you don't understand where it's going that all sudden wham o. And I'll tell you what, he was a great comedian and I might bring him back a little bit more and we'll go into some other things that he did. But Clem candiddlehopper was one, Freddie the freeloader was another. And I'll tell you what, one that's really good and we don't have time to play it, but he was talking about the pledge of Allegiance and he had a teacher in high school that taught him the pledge of allegiance in a very special way that I think if everybody would listen to it and repeat it, it would ring a bell today because we need it. Okay. Wow. Guys, it's time to bail out of here. You have a good week, and, you know, play this again and get a good laugh out of it, and we'll take it from there. So you have a good week, and we will talk to you later. Okay? So let's see if we can bail out of here. I hope. Where's my butt? The buttons. Oh, my God. The buttons. The buttons. What a day. Okay, you have a good one, and we will talk to you guys later. See ya.

Other Episodes