Episode Transcript
[00:01:08] Speaker A: Hey, everybody. Welcome to my world. How's your world doing? Is it a hot one?
It's a hot one today.
And I'll tell you what, it's a scorcher outside.
Oh, yeah. And I'll tell you what, guys, it's going to be a scorcher for about the next three or four days here in the middle of Ohio.
Yeah, another hot day.
Get in line, right. If you're out in Kansas and Missouri, maybe your days are a lot hotter than ours. Okay. But welcome to my world Live, laughing. Whatever. And we've got a lot of stuff to talk about tonight. And hopefully I can probably get you guys to laugh a little bit because I've got some humor more so than normal. Okay, so we're going to get into that. First we have to do a disclaimer, and nothing in this show should be considered legal, medical, financial or investment advice. Take what we say with a grain of salt and always do your own research and due diligence. We're not responsible for and expressly disclaim all liability for damages of any kind arising out of use, reference to or reliance on any information contained in this broadcast. Any persons or characters mentioned are for the most part fictional or as close to it as we can get. So you want to sit back, relax and chill out.
And oh, by the way, tell your friends to join us every Wednesday night at 08:00 p.m. p. M.
Well, like I said, welcome to my world Live, laughing, whatever. And I have to do a big shout out to the Trim radio network for carrying the show. I mean, we've had a lot of fun doing this show over the last few years, and I've had a lot of fun with Trim radio network. And I can't say enough about Victoria Smith and also Michael Bayhas and Roscala Stevens and so forth. We just have a good group here and we have a lot of fun. On Trim radio network we serve the truth and tell the bull. No, no, we don't do that. We cut the bull and serve the truth.
Now wait a minute.
Do we tell the bull and serve? No. Tonight we're going to kick back and have a little bit of fun, but we cut the bowl and serve the truth here on trimradio.com. so you want to check out all of our shows that we have, but buy the merchandise.
All you have to do is hit that shop now button and you can buy hoodies, you can buy t shirts, sweatshirts, hats, you name it, water bottles, mugs, mugs that change color depending on what you put in them.
Maybe it's the good stuff. I don't know. Anyhow, buy the merchandise because you know what happens? It keeps us on the air and we go all over the world. That's why we're Internet and we just go everywhere and people say, well, who listens? And I said, I've got people in Myanmar, I've got people in India, I've got people in South Africa, I've got people in Europe. I've got people in the United States and Canada. And I'll tell you what, I don't have anybody in Iceland. So if you're in Iceland, send us an email. All you have to do is look down on the far right side and there's a little speech box there. Click on that, it'll say, hello, thanks for joining us. And we'll respond immediately and go ahead and type in what you want to say and then hit send and, and we will have a response back to you. Also, we will eventually have a chat room in here and you'll be able to call in.
So that's what we want to be able to do here. So, you know, welcome to my world and the Trim radio network. Now, what shows do we have on the Trim radio network? We've got adventures await around the bend.
And that's radio show and podcast. We've got ranch it up with Tigger and Beck. We've got Mike walk. Mike walk. No, it's life. Walk with Christ God with Michael Bayhas. I don't need to get tongue tied tonight, guys.
Also, we have money and change with, of course, me.
And we're on every Sunday at 07:20 p.m. and with the way things are going, with the economy, with the prices going up and not down, you wonder, where do I put my money to best use?
Check us out. Every Sunday at 07:00 p.m. the only disclaimer is, if I have to play a Sunday concert, then you get an encore edition, in other words, a replay.
And my concerts start right at 07:00 and so I can't pre record these things because I get all my preparation done throughout the week. And then right up to the hour before the show, I'm looking at everything and making additions and deletions to everything I want to talk about.
And so with money and change, I try to keep all the information as current as possible. So that's every Sunday at 07:00 p.m. right here on the Trim radio network. Also, we also have take point 22 with Michael Bayjas and we have slobberknocker talk and offsides in the fall. That's for football. And we have, of course, Victoria Smith with the Natural Marketer podcast.
And of course, you know, every Wednesday night, we always do a live edition of my World.
And then we have Roscala's red Pill reality show.
And I've always said this before, hey, you can either take the red pill or the blue pill. And I keep telling Roscala, I want the green pill.
I don't want the red or the blue pill. I want the green pill.
He hasn't found the green pill yet. Oh, maybe one of these days we'll get Roscal on the show. Maybe he can tell me where the green pill actually is. I don't know.
But you want to check us out.
And if you want to have your own show, hey, in that little chat box on the far right, you want to click on that and you can say, hey, I want to do my own show. And this is what I want to do.
Contact me, give us an email or phone number, and we'll get back to you and tell you what you need to do to do your own show. And I'll tell you what Internet radio is words at it really is. And sometimes, you know, if I'm out there and I want to listen to music in Europe, all I have to do is click on, guess what?
Surf music.
De and I can get all of the radio stations in Europe if I want to listen to them. Of course, they're in their native languages, except for maybe a few english language channels. There's also tv. I can get that, too, through surfmusic. De and de is in Germany, okay? So I have a lot of fun doing that. But actually, you can listen to us.
The Nixie radio music show is on, too, and you can get it right here. And you can listen to music, okay? So support the station, buy the merchandise. Okay? If you want to do your own show, contact us. Let us know. It's easy to do. It really is. And all you have to do is just follow our directions, and we'll get you set up with your own show and get your airtime established and so forth. You know, we're on YouTube. We're on X, which is Twitter and Facebook and Instagram. We're getting out there. And I'll tell you what, right after this show, well, I normally do is I go to X, you know, Twitter, and I watch the show, and I like to see what I can do better, what I may have missed.
And I self critique all my shows.
And I think that's a good thing. Some radio show hosts don't do that. They just do the show, say, well, whatever, and go on. I like to make sure that we're improving a little bit here because I want to be able to provide you with some fun stuff on Wednesdays and also some maybe important stuff that you ought to know. Okay. Wow. We've got, you know, of course, a shout out to the trim radio network. We've got a big shout out to the University of findlay at www.findly.edu.
and you say, well, you talk about them every show. Yeah, it's a good school.
If it wasn't a good school, I wouldn't recommend it. And you say, well, you went there. Well, yeah, I went there.
I also did some radio work while I was there on campus.
I had some great professors.
I had very good facilities. I had a good time, and it's a good academic school. But if you're into NCAA Division two sports, I'll tell you what they put for track and field.
For division two NCAA, they put 19 athletes in the all american status.
Oh, yeah, 19. That's nothing to be sneezed at.
And they've had good years in wrestling, baseball, of course, track and field, golf, ladies golf team did fantastic this year.
And of course, basketball and football and soccer and lacrosse. There's a whole bunch of sports. So if you're really into a lot of sports, check out the University of findlay at www.findley.edu. now this fall, the University of Bluffton will be merging with the University of Findlay. And it's going to be a unique thing because Bluffton University is an NCAA division three school, while Finley is a division two school.
So they're going to be operating in two different sports. And you can take classes at either campus. And that's going to be a neat arrangement because if you don't have a class in Findlay, Ohio, at one of the three campuses for your major or minor, you can also travel 20 miles away to the Bluffton campus.
And it's a neat campus. I've been there, and I'll tell you what, it's Bluffton, Ohio, is a great town.
Findley, Ohio, is a great town. It's an all american city. It is great.
The University of Findlay, like I said, has three campuses. They have the equestrian campus and pre veterinary campus. They also have the main campus and they have the hazardous materials campus. So you want to check them out.
Not too many schools have a hazardous materials, course of study. And at the University of Finley, you can get a bachelor's, a master's, or a doctoral degree.
And they have a very, very good pharmacy program.
They also have a very, very good, let's put this way, physical therapy program.
I've had experiences with the graduates from the University of Finley that were doctoral students. I want to tell you something. They really know their stuff.
I had an occasion to use them a few years ago, and I'll tell you what, they were fantastic.
So check out the University of Findlay at www.findly.edu. hey, we've got rusty ducks custom pens and blanks.
If you're a sorority, fraternity, business, college, university, or whatever, even if you want to make a presentation pen for your parents, that's fine. You send Phil the design or ask him to collaborate with you for the design. He will make the pen and you will have a beautiful pencil. All you have to do is go to rusty Ducks custom pens and blanks.
D Uk apostrophe s custom pens and blanks on Facebook.
And you can see the work that he does. He does fantastic work. And like I said many, many, many times before, both Michael Behoss and I have pens made by Phil over at Rusty Ducks custom pens. They are beautiful. If you, if you like the second amendment and you want to get a second amendment pen. He's got different styles there and they are fantastic.
They really are.
So you want to check them out at rusty Ducks custom pens and blanks.
Also, remember, we've got money and change every Sunday at eight p 07:00 p.m. and my world every Wednesday at 08:00 p.m.
but I also have some friends you need to check out, and they're on YouTube. Okay, proper princess is on. And I post a lot of things from her about saving money. We also have Brad and Krista at big family homestead, and they're out in Wisconsin. Also the deep south homestead with Danny, Wanda King. And also there's porch time with Danny King. This guy is very intelligent just because he has a farm in Wiggins, Mississippi.
He is a very, very intelligent person, knows a lot about life and a lot of things that go on. Okay, southern prepper one with Dave Kobler. Check him out.
He has boots on the ground where people give him information about how the economy is doing in their area. And he puts that together for his show. And I've talked to David, I don't know how many times. He's a really nice person and he's very intelligent, really good really good person. All these people are a prepper nurse, one with Ed Carswell. He's developing his little vacation compound in West Virginia.
And he's talking a lot about that. And also we have David Gilmore.
Yeah, Dave Gilmore, lds prepper.
If you want to know how to grow different types of crops, if you need to know how to prep, if you need to know how to do communications, that's the person to check on. Because David Gilmore is fantastic. I've had.
I've talked to him several different times. He actually talked me into.
And I hope, hopefully you can see it. I'm going to check real quick with the screen right here is a GMRS radio. Okay, I gotta hold this left hand when I'm usually holding it. Right hand. Okay, there. Oops. Almost. There we go. And this is an ocean radio.
And $35 and you get a license, no test, from the FCC. And I'll tell you what, you can talk to different people with your license. Actually, everybody in your family can use that license.
Everybody can use that license.
And that comes in handy. Just abide by the rules and you'll be okay. I can talk from my home 35 miles away to Dayton, Ohio, hit a repeater and talk approximately 85 miles. And in some cases through other repeaters. I can talk all the way to the eastern side of Ohio. I can go into Indiana too, which is great. And you meet a lot of good people on GMRS radio. You can use them for local communication too.
And so if we suddenly have a problem, the grid goes down or the telephone system doesn't work, the GMRS radios guess what comes into play.
And so I have several people around town I can talk to on my GMRS radio about anything. And then if I want to go to a different repeater, I can talk to people in Dayton, or Springfield, or even Richmond, Indiana. I can go that far. So, I mean, it's fun, it's a hobby. And that ocean radio, it's a 935 g and it's about 100. $5175 for one of those.
The battery life is very good on them. And you can check out David Gilmore and check them out. Hey, a big shout out to everybody in the group. You know, our chat group covers a lot of different people. So if I say hi to Ron, I can say hi to Greg, I can say hi to Scott.
Hey, how about Gary? He's up in Michigan. And of course, we've got my good buddy Jerry, and we've got Dora and Michael Bainhas. We've got Jeff, we've got Karen, we've got Kelly and of course, the lovely dottie.
Sweet person, Diana. Down in Texas. We've got Pam and Steve and Sarah.
And if you just want to join the group, just send me a text, okay? Just let me know. And of course, I have to remember Chris because Chris was out in Alaska and took a really nice cruise, had a really good time and probably was a lot cooler there than it is here. Okay. But anyhow, he had a good time and so did his sister.
Great people. I've known them for a long, long time. Anyhow, you want to join the group, just hit the invite button, join us and ask today, you know, I said on the little teaser, I said, hot enough for you? Tired of sitting in front of a fan holding a bucket of ice cubes to keep you cool?
Join us tonight because we're going to talk a little bit about it. But I also said, get yourself a cold one in your favo, right? Snack and join us and tell your friends too, please.
It's time to kick back a little bit. There's, there's a little public service thing that I always like to do because some people say, what's going on?
And take a look at the, the weather that's out there.
How do you cope with hot weather? I mean, it's, today it got up to 99 degrees on one side of my house. The other side of the house was 97.
And I had to go out and do some yard work this morning. And so here I am, I'm up at seven and I'm out doing some yard work and some trimming and so forth. And it's hot.
And it was so hot. I mean, I got done, I came inside, I drank a lot of water, and I said to myself, okay, am I going to be able to get through the day?
Well, in some cases, all you have to do is keep hydrated, okay. And turn on a fan. Turn on a ceiling fan. If you have air conditioning, go ahead and use it.
And what I do in the morning is cool the house down as cool as I can possibly stand it. And then I move the thermometer back up on the thermostat and I say, well, okay, I'm setting at 73. I will settle for a high of 75. And hopefully I don't have the cold, chilly type of damp interior in the house.
And I'm usually comfortable and I can get a lot of work done here, whether I'm working on stuff for money and change, or checking out other news stories, communicating with different people, or gee whiz, I have to go out for a meeting someplace, and that's what happens. But anyhow, guys, a lot of stuff is going on. Did you ever hear about Juneteenth?
You know, locally, the city offices are off, and I've heard of Juneteenth before, but I never really paid attention to it. It's not Christmas, it's not New Year's, it's not Thanksgiving. It's not a president's holiday and so forth. And everybody was off today except for the trash handlers and the guys that pick up the trash. They kept their schedule, and, boy, they were up at 06:00 and on the move because of the hot weather. And then that way they could go home early, and that works out for them because that is a tough job and it's a stinky job. And during hot weather, you never know what you're going to find in the trash bins. Right.
Well, anyhow, O'Connor O'Keeffe, Okeefe at the Mises Institute, that's m I s e s, had an article that said, today is Juneteenth. 159 years ago, on June 19, 1865, Major General Gordon Granger arrived in Texas and declared that all states, all slaves in the state, were free.
And the following year, 1866, residents of the town where Granger had issued the order celebrated the anniversary as Jubilee Day.
And eventually the name changed to Juneteenth in 1979, and it became a Texas state holiday.
And then in 2021, President Joe Biden signed a bill designated Juneteenth as a federal holiday.
Now, a lot of cities have parties.
I know down in Dayton, they were having celebrations there.
I'm not sure if we had one here. I mean, it was too hot.
I know we're going to have a big party this weekend, and maybe that would take care of it.
They're going to bring some bands in and have a big party downtown.
And it's a, it's amazing how many people, they get down for rock bands and stuff like that, and especially with a brand new amphitheater coming in. So it's going to be interesting.
But Juneteenth, do you celebrate it? Is it celebrated in your community?
Are people off work just to be off work? I mean, come on, give me some information here.
But that was today. Okay.
Wow. We've got some stuff today, and I don't know how it's going to work because I've got some videos and I'm going to play them over the show because there's no other way I can do it. I'm trying to take and insert them into the show.
And I'm still working on that.
It's one of those things, hey, you'll get a kick out of this, because I just learned something about one person. I know. You know, a lot of people are surrounded by greatness, and we don't realize it.
When I was working in Cincinnati, I had the occasion to meet different people.
And there was Johnny Bench and George Foster and of course, Pete Rose.
And I had dinner with Pete Rose. I was down in Tampa at the time. I've told the story many times before. Pete is a very, very nice person, especially when it's one on one. I mean, really good guy.
And he was interested because I worked in the Enquirer building in downtown Cincinnati, which was the old Enquirer building. Now, if you were watching WKRP, they always talked about the flim building, and they showed the picture of the building. Well, that's where I was at on the 9th floor. And supposedly WKRP was on the 9th floor. Well, I never bumped into them on the 9th floor because we controlled the whole 9th floor for our offices.
But you ran, you would run into different people and you would realize that, hey, I'm just an average guy on the street, okay, and I'm nothing special.
But all the people I look at, you go, wow, I didn't know that all these people were really great people.
And here I am, I'm working in my office, and it's just about time to go. And I had the, the radio on in the office, and somebody by the name of Gary Burbank was on WLW with the drive time show. And I thought, hmm, okay, I still have to get in the car, and I have to drive for about the next half hour to get home.
So I'll just listen to WLW when I get to the car. So sure enough, it's 05:00 I'm out the door and I'm in the car, you know, get out of the parking garage and pay my exorbitant sum to park the car in the garage. And I'm driving through traffic in Cincinnati, and I'm listening on WLW, which is 700.
And I'm listening to Gary Burbank.
And the more I listened to him, it was like that was my drive time personality to listen to in Cincinnati.
And they had a lot of dj's and different type of announcers and artists and so forth. They were fantastic. But Gary Burbank stood out amongst all of them for drive time. The only other drive time person I really knew personally is Terry Hammert at WXRT in Chicago, and she was the big drive time personality up there. I went to school with her, and I get to see her on occasion when she comes home to go to a class dinner or whatever we have, we have fun.
But there was Gary Burbank, and I listened to his shows, and I would laugh and laugh and laugh, some of the jokes he would tell, some of the stories he would tell, and then one day, I'm listening, and, gee, he mentions a guy I went to school with at Ohio University.
And I thought, no, you couldn't be talking about. You couldn't be talking about Jimmy Probosco.
We were in the band together. He was a fantastic trombonist.
We always had a good time. I didn't know he was there. I thought he was a music supervisor up in Kettering, Ohio, up in the Dayton area, but he was the music advisor, I guess, if you want to call him, for the Gary Burbank show.
And I'm thinking, wow.
And so I sent an email to Gary Burbank, and I said, you know, I just want to see if you could pass something on to Jim Probosco and tell him I said hi, and if he wants to get in touch with me, here's my email address and here's my phone number, here's my cell phone number and so forth. And, you know, we'll get together. And so, sure enough, Gary Burbank sent me a response. He says, I'll get in touch with Jimmy and have him give you a call. Well, I got an email from Jim, and I was asking him about being on Gary Burbank's show every afternoon. And he says, oh, it's a fantastic group.
He said, it's a small studio, and he packs up to 15 people in that studio to joke around. Doc Wolf and the gang, they were all there, and they would do backups for his antics and some of his funny things.
And you say, well, who was Gary Burbank? Well, Gary Burbank, who was born really Billy Purser. P u r s e R, in 1941 in Memphis, Tennessee.
He's a radio personality, and according to Wikipedia, he was heard daily on WLW in Cincinnati, Ohio, and from June 15, 1981, till December 21, 2007, and nationally as the voice of his fictional character, Earl Pitts, and a nationally syndicated commentary until 19 or 2021.
And I'm like, holy cow.
I remember listening to Gary Burbank when he was at CKLW in Canada. Now, this is when I was going to Findlay, and I'd come back from class at about 10:00 and I had a break until about 01:00 and I would turn the radio on and I would listen to him.
And he had a very good talk show. And he would always say, let's listen to the groovy guru. And you'd hear this wind whistling, and then you would hear him say, groovy guru, what is the word for the day? And then this echo came out of the clouds and it would say, don't eat the yellow snow.
That got my attention. Okay. And you listen to his antics.
And one time when he was at CKLW, which is at Windsor, and it was just across the river from, from Detroit, he decided to play a little spoof.
And what he did was make the claim that, well, let's put this way, I 75 was blocked and for everybody to go on an alternate route into Detroit. So get off of I 75 and drive through Detroit. Well, next thing you know, the Detroit mayor was in total panic. People were calling him, the roads were blocked, people couldn't get to work on time. And next thing you know, he's calling Canada over at Windsor and complaining to the radio station in Windsor.
Well, the next thing you know, um, Gary didn't have a radio show there anymore, and he was a drive time personality, but he went a little bit too far. And the next time I heard him, he was in Louisville, Kentucky. And I'm going through Kentucky, and sure enough, I'm listening to Gary Burbank.
I thought, what's he doing there?
Next thing you know, he's on WLW.
I mean, he was all over. He was Johnny Apollo at K U Zn in West Monroe, Louisiana, and he did stints at WMPs in the sixties and wWN in Jackson, Mississippi. And he moved to Louisville, Kentucky, where he became an instant hit on Wakyu.
That's like wacky, isn't it? Well, that fits Gary Burbank, and it was a w A K Y. Billy Purser officially became Gary Burbank, and it was a name taken from radio and television legend Gary Owens.
Remember Ron and Martin's laugh in?
So anyhow, Burbank left Waky in 1973. During his final program, there was an elaborate prank in which he pretended to be fatally shot by a disgruntled listener.
At that point, he moved to New Orleans for a brief stint as program director at WNOE.
From New Orleans, he went on to see KLW in Windsor in the mid seventies and then back to Louisville. Yeah, after the traffic stint for a successful lengthy lengthy afternoon gig on Whas am.
And then Burbank left Louisville again for a brief spell in Tampa, Florida. It seems like these disc jockeys go all over the place with their shows.
I don't know that anyone really stays long, especially when they were rambunctious as Gary.
But anyhow, Gary did drive time, and then eventually he went to wow in Cincinnati, and everything just took off from there. Everybody listened to Earl Pittsburgh, and Gary Burbank had a way with doing different voices. And he wrote a book, voices in my head.
I've got a copy of it. And Gary autographed it.
And there were several occasions I got to meet Gary at his barbecue restaurant in Sharonville, Ohio, which is a suburb of Cincinnati. And every time that I would have meetings where I would bring people in from all over the state for my job, we would go to Burbanks after our meeting day was done, and it was usually a three day meeting. And so we would go to Burbanks at least one of those days. And I bumped into a guy, and he sounded like Gary Burbank with a deep voice. I thought, wait a minute. And I said, you sound familiar.
I do.
And I said, yeah, you sound like maybe Earl Pitts.
Are you Gary Burbank? And he just smiled. He says, come right this way. I'm going to take you right to your table. And our group just went.
And it was interesting. A very good barbecue place and quite busy.
But anyhow, he had Earl Pitts, American, and he was a full blooded redneck. Well, Earl Pitts was a stuffed dummy at the bar when you walked in there, and he was all hunched over like he'd been totally drunk. And he had a beer in his hand and all this kind of stuff. It was an interesting place, trust me. He did Gilbert gnarly, a senior citizen who made crank calls to various businesses and people. And boy, did he do it.
He did the right Reverend Deuteronomy Skaggs, who was a radio preacher. It was funny stuff. Ranger Bob, children's show host, Riley Gert with the us senseless survey. I copied that and I practiced it, and I did that with a friend of mine's mom. I called her up on the phone, and I disguised my voice, and it was a totally senseless server. You have to check it out. Anyhow, there were a lot of other people. Lars Peavey, Dan Buckles, the newscaster, Porsche Lynn commode, as in porcelain commode. This was Porsche Lynn commode, bass ackwards, ma Hershey or Maharishi. That was it. Maharishi and bruiser Larue and big fat, all of his characters, from the voices in his head, they just came to him naturally. This was Gary Burbank.
And I'm thinking, wow, hot summers in Cincinnati. And I'm trying to listen to that show and I'm thinking, I'm trying to keep cool. I've got air conditioning in the office sometimes one that worked on the 9th floor. And if it didn't, we opened up the windows and I got a pungent odor from the Cincinnati and hotel next door, which was a very, like a five star restaurant and hotel.
A lot of swanky people were there at different times, and I could tell you plenty of stories about that.
But it would get hot and sticky in Cincinnati and the air conditioning was there. But you could always listen to Gary Burbank. You could be in your car. You could be driving home and listening to Gary Burbank while you're driving home. And it was really good. Now I'm going to try something here and I want to see if it works because I'm going to play the video and hopefully it's loud enough that you can hear it.
This will be the first time that I've ever done this. So hang on.
This is out of YouTube.
So here he is. This is Gary Burbanks, Gilbert Gnarly, and I got it at wW dot pits off.com. that's pittsoff.com.
listen to this one. And this is how funny he gets.
[00:43:22] Speaker B: Marketing.
[00:43:24] Speaker C: Yes, my name is Gilbert Norley Gnarley, and I want you to know that you've got a happy consumer on the line.
[00:43:33] Speaker B: Okay. Who would you like to speak with, sir?
[00:43:35] Speaker C: Anyone in the consumer affairs department. I want to just tell someone how much I enjoy your Kentucky jelly.
[00:43:43] Speaker B: The what kind of jelly?
[00:43:44] Speaker C: Your jelly.
Yes. The best stuff. I like the way it comes in a tube. You know, it's very convenient.
[00:43:52] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:43:52] Speaker C: Like other brands like smuckers, they come in jars and I think if you got.
[00:43:57] Speaker B: No, sir. I think you got the wrong company.
[00:43:59] Speaker C: If you do any commercial, I'd like to do a personal testimony for you. I even wrote a poem. Can I do my poem for you?
[00:44:06] Speaker B: But, sir, I think you got the wrong company.
[00:44:08] Speaker C: Jam is gritty. Apricots are too smelly. I just love my Kentucky jelly.
[00:44:14] Speaker B: But we don't make that brand, sir.
[00:44:16] Speaker C: Let me just say one thing, though. I'd only say one thing.
[00:44:19] Speaker D: We don't make.
[00:44:20] Speaker B: We don't make that type of. We don't make that type of jelly.
[00:44:23] Speaker C: I do have one comment to make. The taste is a bit neutral.
[00:44:30] Speaker A: But.
[00:44:30] Speaker C: It has nice texture and it spreads well on toast.
[00:44:34] Speaker A: Wait a minute.
[00:44:35] Speaker B: We don't make that type of jelly.
[00:44:36] Speaker C: It says it's Kentucky jelly. It says on the tube, Ky jelly.
[00:44:43] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's not.
[00:44:45] Speaker C: I think you should print calories and fat content. Do you want for 1 second? Oh, certainly, yes.
Now, I wish they put the bag.
[00:44:55] Speaker A: Of these off there, too.
[00:44:58] Speaker B: Hello, sir.
[00:44:59] Speaker C: Yes, ma'am.
[00:45:01] Speaker B: The person you need to talk to is. She's not around at the moment. Can I just take a message?
[00:45:05] Speaker C: Oh, certainly, yes. I just want to tell her I'd like to be in your next commercial.
[00:45:10] Speaker B: But I think you're getting us confused.
[00:45:13] Speaker C: I am? Well, you know what I mean. You know what I mean. Do you have any little recipe booklets you could send out?
[00:45:19] Speaker B: Okay, hold on for 1 second. I'm going to transfer you to someone.
[00:45:22] Speaker D: Okay, thank you.
[00:45:25] Speaker A: And that's what Gary Burbank does. He will spoof everything.
And he.
Where he gets his ideas, I don't know.
And I asked my friend Jim Probosco, I said, how does he come up with stuff?
And he'll be sitting around a table and it'll be before the show and sometimes after the show, and they're talking about different things and everybody is cutting up. And Doc Wolf was part of it and it was hilarious. And I said, does he pay well? He says, he pays very well.
And I said, you're kidding? He says, no, I come down to do the show and we have so much fun, but we get paid for doing the show. It was. It was ridiculous to see stuff like that going on. And we had fun. It wasn't work.
Nothing was work.
And I thought, man, what a gig.
Musicians call, you know, work a gig. The same thing with Gilbert. Gnarly and some of the stuff that goes on. Let's see if we have another one that Gary Burbank did.
Here we go.
[00:46:57] Speaker E: The next time you're frying up eggs for breakfast or that chicken for the family dinner table, don't forget the lard.
That's right. 100% pure lard. No artificial ingredients, no harmful chemicals or additives. Just 100% pure lard from pigs.
There's nothing like boiling down a mammal to produce 100% pure lard straight from the boar to your door. For a taste that's out of this world.
[00:47:35] Speaker D: Ooh wee.
This is some fine cooking honey.
[00:47:40] Speaker E: 100% pure lard. Look for it in the animal oil section of your favorite food store. From Calistico a division of Burbank eyelide Industries.
[00:47:52] Speaker A: Burbank eye lied industries.
Talk about funny. He did. He did one thing. He said he was doing a commercial. All of a sudden, he came over and he says, weasel, the other white meat. And I'm thinking, is weasel white meat? Who eats weasel?
Well, anyhow, it was a pun on pork, the other white meat, and he just called it weasel the bird. Burbank did all kinds of stuff. Here's another one. And this is Earl Pitts, American.
[00:48:39] Speaker D: You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me say, man, I want to pay $1,000 for a ticket to see Vidal Sassoon in Paul Mitchell fight to the death.
Today I want to talk to you about hair, specifically, man hair. And I speak as a man with hair that has never been dyed, touched upon for men style, firm, quaffed, tinted, blow dried, teased, or any other way monkeyed with.
A real man's head should be like a virgin forest ruled by nature and the wither. The only thing a real man ever needs to do to his hair is every couple days, comb it. And a real man should buy a haircut like he buys his gas regular. Now, I say this on account I saw a story on a computer about a man hairstyle. They said the big thing these days is the man bun. That's when you yuppie men, dope heads and Hollywood types were letting their hair grow a little long and putting a little bun on top of their heads. That was called a man bun, except the real men who called it stupid.
Now, if you was to walk into some yippee rich people hot spots, say, like Applebee's, you might see so many man buns, you might have thought you walked into a seventies miniseries like showgun.
And us regular, real men, we might see that. We just shake our heads and think what some women would talk their man into. But it gets worse. These frou frou style and fashion nut jobs say this year, men will let their buns grow and start man braiding their hair. And I ain't talking about your NFL cornerback madder and, hell, manly man braids, neither. I'm talking about your Christie Brinkley swimsuit edition upswift French braid on a dude. Let me just say, the only guys I know that can pull off a braid be Willie Nelson, Geronimo, and maybe Bruce Jenner now. And you ain't them. Wake up. I'm Murray cook.
Yeah, a man braid on a man's head fits like a sock on a rooster.
Why do you want to go there.
I'm Earl Pitch, a marigul like me on Facebook.
Pitcher.
[00:51:06] Speaker A: Yeah, that's Earl Pitts.
And he does a lot of different things.
He was talking about everyday drugs, too. I mean, no topic was sacrosanct with Gary Burbank, just like this one.
[00:51:29] Speaker D: You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so? Man, I want to grab a handful of that life cereal, roll it up in a piece of paper, and stick it in my mouth and light it so I can tell everybody I'm high alike.
Other night I met the duck end, swinging down long necks and getting barely inspired.
Me and Pete the bartender. We're watching the news on tv, hearing reports of local drug buses. I start grumbling about what this crazy is. We got so many people that are dope heads in this country always getting high on drugs and never mounting nothing. I said, you never catch me doing no drug addict stuff. Pete said, wait a minute there. You're chugging down alcohol. That's kind of a drug. I mean, it alters your mood, don't it? I had to admit he had a point. I said, well, at least I don't spend all day drinking beer. I mostly do it at night and on the weekends. Pete said, yeah, but during the day you're drinking coffee. That alters your mood, too.
What about them cigarettes you smoke full of nicotine?
What can I say?
Pete had me pay.
Seemed like every hour, every day, I'm either jacked up on coffee or mellowing out on smokes or buzzed on beer. Except on them days when I'm sick in bed. Then I'm high on my quill, and I know I ain't the only one. It got me to wondering, when in our entire lives are we really totally sober? Totally sober.
Only time I can think of is that short amount of time first thing in the morning when we pry our eyes open and stagger to the kitchen half dead to get the job of brewing.
Kind of made me think, how come all them zombie movies take place in the middle of the night instead of 06:00 in the morning?
06:00 in the morning makes more sense.
Anyhow, them few minutes in the early morning really is the only time I'm sober.
In other words, the most miserable moments of my life.
Wake up. I'm a recovery.
You can mix these drugs, too.
Some people put whiskey in their coffee and make irish coffee.
You add a couple of packs of smokes, and you know what I call that? A balanced breakfast about pizza. American pizza.
[00:53:59] Speaker A: Yeah. And that was Gary Burbank what a character. He's been retired for a while and you get some replays. But he is a very funny, funny, funny person. And to listen to him, all the years I was in Cincinnati and then actually trying to listen to him, I was in Columbus, there and then back again in Dayton, Ohio.
What a successful career. It was really successful. And something you really had to listen to. And there are other dj's that are out there. And Terry, if you're listening, I love to listen to your show all the time, too. But I'll tell you what, you do the Beatles and other things for drive time, but I don't think you're Gary Burbank, but the two of you make some characters. I'll tell you what. Well, anyhow, guys, we also have the wrinkle City Gazette, and we. I wanted to go over some of that, but I'll tell you what, I don't know if we have time, you know, if you get the wrinkle City Gazette at Wrinkle Hyphen City Gazette, dot weebly.com, you can go back through the editions there and you can see a lot of stuff that happens. And you might say, hey, that sounds like my town.
I had that happen one time.
I wrote that. I put it out. It went out to 22 states. Where it went from there, who knows?
But somebody sent me an email and they said, hey, that sounds like my town. And I said, where are you, rompty dump? Texas.
Well, okay, that's cool. Well, this sounds like my town. Where's that?
Pahrump, Nevada. And. Okay, fine. It sounds like my town in Michigan. Oh, wow.
The wrinkle city Gazette, dot weebly.com.
it has a lot of different stuff in there.
A lot of stuff that I will not even mention here, except for one thing. The happy buns clothing optional society is open.
And so you have to read that article about the happy buns clothing optional society. And it's right next to the golf course, beginners class, hunting greens. Check it out. Okay. And just remember, the camp activities will include co ed jogging, bad, awful mitten yoga for beginners, mooning as a second hobby, poisonous plant identification, how to throw darts and protect your naughty parts, naked putt putt golf and proper sunning etiquette without burning your naughty bits.
[00:57:05] Speaker D: Whoa.
[00:57:06] Speaker A: Gotta check that one out, guys. You have to. Anyhow, that's all I've got today.
And hopefully you'll check out Gary Burbank and listen to some of his stuff. You can check him out on YouTube.
There are other places for him. So you want to check?
Check him out. He is funny as. I'll get out with that. Guys, that's all I've got. Have a good week. We will see you on Sunday with money and change. Have a good week. And remember, even though it's hot out, laugh it.
